If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
