it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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