I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize