Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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