fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
