so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
