we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
