i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
