ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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