I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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