Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
