I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize