Me too!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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