It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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