Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
