Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
