I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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