Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
