i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
