i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
