mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
