what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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