How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
