dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
