Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
