I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just gargled with NyQuil
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
