we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
