I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
