You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
