he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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