So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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