Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
