I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
