I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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