Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
