How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
