wat bout pragnant strippers??
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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