Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
