as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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