Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
