I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize