Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
