speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
