she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
