what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Someone signed my nipple.
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