This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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