508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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