Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
