Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
