all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
