you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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