If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
