I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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