drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
