All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
