I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
