Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
