i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
