defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We're too hungover to prance.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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