I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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