Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
