my room smells like sperm. sweet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
